Author: Dan Stangl

JUSTIFIED 6th and Final Season Review

Since its debut in 2010, JUSTIFIED has quietly been, off and on, the best show on television. While your boss was dissecting BREAKING BAD, and the startup kids got their first view of boobs watching GAME OF THRONES, JUSTIFIED outdid those shows by just being about characters that felt alive. As goofy and occasionally overwrought as the the show could be, it never strayed far from its central theme of the way a place can intrinsically tie a group of people together forever. In its final season, JUSTIFIED returned to what made the show so great and sent its characters out...

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INTERSTELLAR Movie Review

Christopher Nolan movies are like expensive Lego sets. Once you finally put them together they look really cool, but if your brother steps on them and fucks up the pieces, you don’t really care about putting them back together. Damn, I love metaphors. Over the years lil Chrissy Nolan has become increasingly less and less about making movies and more about making EVENTS. Every time a new Chris Nolan film comes out it’s spoken about in a hushed whisper, usually around some sort of alter or gaming console. And rightly so, especially in a time when nobody really pays attention...

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GONE GIRL Movie Review

Baby’s on Fire Man, David Fincher is funny now? I didn’t get the MEMO! Seriously, the dude who brought us PANIC ROOM and ALIEN 3, is now riffing hard with his new flick GONE GIRL. He’s having a laugh and inviting us all to join him on a mystical, magical journey that folks everywhere are now calling the Best Movie of Them All! GONE GIRL, if you haven’t been on the internet in the last month, is the story of washed up housedad Nick Dunne (Ben Affleck DAREDEVIL, SMOKIN ACES) whose wife Amy disappears under mysterious circumstances. In the coming...

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DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES Movie Review

DUNSTON CHECKS OUT The second installment in the reboot, DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES, begins and ends with the same image: a closeup of a pair of eyes staring directly into the camera. Rendered in full CGI glory, they evoke a strange mix of feelings both familiar and foreign, synthetic and organic. Even though they belong to an ape, it’s a vision of man using machines to create his own image to stare back at him. If DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES is about anything besides making money, it’s about humanity losing its nature to...

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JUSTIFIED Season 5 Review

Damn, Boyd Crowder looks like a pop punk dad. He stands there with hair spiked up by natural or unnatural means, wearing thrift store suits and sporting a chain wallet/watch. He’d be my best friend in tenth grade, we could go on adventures together. Then maybe he’d start playing guitar behind a screen for Bad Religion and we wouldn’t talk for awhile. He would have found a close approximation of the dream we shared. He’d watch the 17 year old fans stay the same each year, but if he closed his eyes really hard and tried, he could still...

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3 DAYS TO KILL Movie Review

Oh boy. 3 DAYS TO KILL, get it, get it? Its like you have like 3 days to do nothing but also, like, three days to kill people too! get it? Get it? That title might be the most clever thing about the new Kevin Costner comeback attempt movie, and unless you’re my high school English teacher you probably don’t think that title is that funny. Here’s the plot of the movie if you’re still awake. An old CIA agent whose seen some better days, but still rocks his Wranglers and fanny pack because apparently the CIA has a...

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JUSTIFIED Season 5 Premiere Review

In DEADWOOD, Timothy Olyphant’s character Seth Bullock, was the person I gave the least possible f*ck about. He was kind of an arrogant dick, the kind of guy that would always point things out you already knew to make you feel bad and be proud of it. Olyphant, though, made you feel like there was something more behind him. That he knew that he was a dick but couldn’t help acting that way, that it was the one thing that he could hold onto while everything else around him got f*cked up. By the premature end of the show,...

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OLDBOY (2013 Remake) Movie Review

incest and peppermints all flow down like royal crown hammer down sun up -Oldboy haiku by Dan Stangl “I’m slipping, I’m falling. I can’t get up”-DMX What the fuck did I just watch? I thought I was going to see the new Johnny Knoxville movie about an old man who drinks, swears at kids, and poops his pants. Instead I got Spike Lee’s remake of the Korean Freshman Year of College Smoke Pot and Not Have a Girlfriend, classic OLDBOY. Come to think of it, Josh Brolin (GOONIES) in the beginning of OLDBOY is a lot like BAD GRANDPA,...

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ENDER’S GAME Movie Review

Like countless other prepubescent boys my age, Orson Scott Card’s 1985 book ENDER’S GAME was an essential rite of passage for my developing young imagination. ENDER’S GAME was special in a lot of ways, not the least of which was that its main character was my age, and being plunged into a dark and inhumane world that felt a lot like the middle school where I read it. It was that experience permanently bonded to a period of my life, something that I wanted to share only with my closest friends in the hopes that they would like it...

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