Author: Mark Espinosa

Netflix’s DAREDEVIL Season 2 Teaser!

DAREDEVIL 2:  Avocados at Law. Okay.  I know that this is technically a ‘teaser trailer.’  There’s no new footage or anything like that.  C’mon! Look at it, though!  This may be a teaser trailer, but it’s one of the best looking teaser trailers I have ever seen. On top of completely wrapping up season 1 in a pretty bad ass church mural ceiling thing (what are they called?) it also lays ground work for the impending madness that only the Punisher can bring. Oh boy! Oh boy! It’s still way too soon to properly speculate what season 2 of DAREDEVIL...

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IN THE HEART OF THE SEA Movie Review

When I was an English major in college (I sell dildos now for a living), I wrote my senior thesis on Nathaniel Hawthorne. Why am I bringing this up?  It’s because any intellectual analysis of Nathaniel Hawthorne sidesteps fluidly into a conversation about Herman Melville. So intertwined the two became for a brief moment of their lives. Also, it’s because I suddenly feel like I’m writing a college paper and I have to fill 9 pages.  How do I double space a WordPress document? Pilgrims! When I first read MOBY DICK, I was an obnoxious college kid from New Jersey...

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Nerd Rants: Mark’s STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS Reactions

WARNING: This article is going to contain heavy spoilers.  Exit now at your own peril ………. ………. ………. ………. ………. You still here? Han Solo is murdered by his son, Ben Solo AKA Kylo Ren. Holy shit.  I’ve been wanting to post that online for the past week.  My life after seeing THE FORCE AWAKENS has consisted almost entirely of whispered plot analysis, carefully crafted text messages and back alley nerd debates. It’s not enough. I have all this pent up ‘rant’ inside of me and no where to rant it. ‘I’m being torn apart.’ I feel like a...

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VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN Movie Review

Max Landis wrote this? Huh. Okay. Sure. When I saw VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN, there was a woman sitting in the front row with her infant baby. Occasionally, the baby would ‘giggle’ and ‘coo.’ No one in the audience seemed to be phased by this. When I was standing in line to buy my ticket, I noticed that a lot of families were disappointed that the 2:30 showing of THE GOOD DINOSAUR was sold out.  This would probably explain why there were two children in my row running around and losing their shit over how ‘scary’ this movie was.  This movie was not...

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STAR TREK: BEYOND Movie Trailer Review!

Why wasn’t Idris Elba in this trailer?  Where the hell is Idris Elba?  … Wait… He not some weird looking alien, right?  TELL ME! Damn, Justin Lin!  Did you just blow up the Enterprise?  (I guess that makes sense because I assume this is still NCC-1701? Picard was captain of the NCC-1701-D, so… we have a few letters we can throw away.)  When the FAST AND THE FURIOUS director signed up to direct this (3rd?) STAR TREK movie, we knew it was going to be off the chain.  This is straight up ‘space madness,’ Stimpy! I think it’s a bold...

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INDEPENDENCE DAY RESURGENCE Movie Trailer Review!

Isn’t it always a nice surprise when a movie you think is years away, suddenly drops a trailer and you’re like ‘Welcome to Earth, my new beautiful friend. Make yourself at home.’ First off, what is it with the INDEPENDENCE DAY movies and cars driving at night?  I feel like the first movie was full of that nonsense? Is there some symbolism I’m missing?  Are the cars, humans, as we try to navigate our way through a much larger and dangerous universe? You get the basic jist from this trailer. I don’t really need to explain the awesomeness of...

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CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR Trailer!!

WHAT.  NO. WHAT. STOP.  … i love you. Marvel did it. They went and did it. They dropped the CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR trailer with very little warning.  After months of the internet collectively begging for something… a clip.  A teaser.  A glimmer… It finally happened.  Downey Jr and Evans smiled their way onto the Jimmy Kimmel set and blew the back out of the internet.  Lets get down to it, shall we? Bare with me.  This is all happening right now and I know I am going to miss so many amazing things about this trailer and I’m...

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SPECTRE Movie Review

I wonder if anytime during the production of SPECTRE, the 24th official entry into the BOND franchise, if anybody acknowledged how boring the name ‘James Bond’ is.  ‘James Bond:  Fireplace Tax Attorney.’ When Ian Fleming was designing his Bond character, he was quoted saying that he wanted Bond to be ‘an extremely dull, uninteresting man to whom things happened; I wanted him to be a blunt instrument.’  Why then did JAMES BOND become synonymous with ‘seduction, sexuality and tuxedos?’ (Wow, that’s a really dumb question, Mark). I suppose Sean Connory is partly to blame. That charming bastard. DR. NO introduced an international...

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JUST ANOTHER SHEEP #1 Comic Book Review!

Whenever a group of nerds get together, the conversation has a tendency of gravitating towards the subject of ‘super powers’, which of course, results in everyone listing off their ideal super power. For instance, I would love to be able to teleport. I could vacation in Fiji every weekend (My winter tan would be wicked sick!). I mean… I would also use my powers for good… Totally. With ‘great power’ and all that jazz. I could teleport food and medicine all over the world. Rescue cats from trees (How great am I?). For the most part, these conversations tend to list off...

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WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER: The Everything Review

The can of vegetables stood there in the tall grass while Gene wrestled with his inner demons.  It was at this point that the can of vegetables proclaimed ‘I can suck my own dick, and I do it a lot.’ When it was first announced that they would be making a Netflix exclusive prequel series to the original WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER, I think I was eating Japanese fried chicken at my work desk.  Let’s start from the beginning.  I was a huge fan of KIDS IN THE HALL.  I still don’t know how my 10 year old self, living in...

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SUPERGIRL Premiere Review!

Wow. I really ‘Ebenezer Scrooged’ my way through this premiere episode. The nerd spirits!  They did it all in a single night!  I’m dancing naked on my tombstone! Isn’t that how Scrooge ended?  I know there was something about a large turkey hanging in a window… I’m going to start at the end and tell you that I really liked SUPERGIRL.  I liked it so much that I am no longer able to explain to you why I was so frustrated with DC for hacking up their comic book universe and throwing it all over television.  I liked SUPERGIRL so much...

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Netflix’s JESSICA JONES Trailer Review!

‘A slow moving car.’  Awesome. The entire first season of JESSICA JONES hits Netflix on November 20th (that’s less than a month away) and we finally have a proper trailer for it.  After watching this, all I can say is… ‘This Kilgrave character is a reaallllll piece of work’. I’m really excited to see the story of JESSICA JONES squeezed into the pocket Marvel Universe that Netflix is creating. DAREDEVIL was dark and set a very specific tone for these ‘street level heroes’, but JESSICA JONES  exist in a completely different level of ‘fucked.’ The basic gist of her...

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THE WALKING DEAD Season 6 Premiere Review!

Zombie Hordes! Trucks! Glasses!  That dude from EMPIRE RECORDS!  WHAT IN THE HERSHEL IS GOING ON? THE WALKING DEAD is back for it’s 6th season and I’m already super confused about what the hell is happening and how I feel about it. How long ago was the season 5 finale?  (Check out my season 5 recap here!) Did I miss an episode?  Is the color in my TV broken? As soon as the episode started, I felt like I was hanging out with that intense friend you know from college that ‘balance beams’ between extreme emotional instability and super insightful...

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SUPERNATURAL Season 11 Premiere Review!

Wait… Did they just mention ‘The Cage?’ Whoa.  It’s starting to feel like maybe SUPERNATURAL is back… and I’m not just talking about the season premiere. In my season 10 review of SUPERNATURAL (Check it out here!), I go over some of the problems that the show has been jello-wrestling since it’s 5th season.  A lot of the situations that the Winchesters were coming across started to feel a little repetitive. ‘Something bad would happen, one of the brothers would keep a big secret from the other, it would all blow up in their faces, they would have an...

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The CW’S ARROW Season 4 Premiere Review!

WARNING: Spoilers within! You know what, Oliver?  I’m happy too. I’ve been dipping my toe in that big ole nerd pond called the Internet and the general consensus is that FLASH has got it’s shit way more together than ARROW.  Say whhhaaaaa?  Okay.  I can see that. But, not really.  FLASH hit the ground running in its first season and consistently kept its shit tight and outrageous.  There was time travel and ‘Crisis’ references in the first episode.  We had ‘Green Lantern’ Easter eggs and the season ended with Jay Garrick deciding to cross dimensions for a cup of...

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HEROES REBORN Episodes 1-3 Review

HEROES is back!  HEROES… the show that’s full of… um, ‘Heroes.’  And villains?  You see, there are these people and they have powers and they use them to do things… Yeah… Listen. I’m going to be very honest with you.  I’m really phoning in this review. I usually take very detailed notes while watching premieres. I make sure to keep track of every character’s name and will even do a little research about what other moving picture stuff they’ve been in.  If applicable, I will even go back and watch the original source material so that I can more accurately speak...

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Marvel’s AGENTS OF SHIELD Season 3 Premiere Review!

Dope. I guess I should write a little bit more than that? Lets cut right to it, shall we?  I’m not going to spend too much time trying to defend season 1 of SHIELD.  I’m tired of doing that and quite frankly, I really shouldn’t have to at this point. WINTER SOLDIER came out and most people realized they left the party 10 minutes before the German exchange student showed up with a keg. Then, season 2 rolled out a near perfect *insert complex gymnastic move here* and the crowd went wild. Yeah, there was still some learning to...

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The CW’s THE FLASH Season 2 Trailer Review!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=13&v=uVOR9D8FRbQ ‘My name is Jay Garrick and your world is in danger.’ I could just end my trailer recap with that one line. What. Listen, it’s a massive ‘no duh’ that ARROW and FLASH have figured out the perfect formula that has fans feverishly beating away their sweatpants boners.   They don’t hold back and drop enough Easter eggs to make a super radical nerd omelette.  At some random DC TV meeting, someone stood up and said ‘Wait.  We have all these characters.  We own ALL of them.  Lets just over saturate each show with as much awesomeness that...

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LIMITLESS (2015) Pilot Review

LIMITLESS 2:  Beyond Limits! I don’t know about you knuckleheads, but, I’m fascinated by this new cinema trend of not necessarily rebooting something into a new franchise, but rather, spinning the new project off from the original. The new MINORITY REPORT TV show takes place years after the Tom Cruise flick.  Shit like that. To me,  It feels a bit like trying to do too much fan service. ‘We’re not negating the popular source material, we’re just building out from it.  Picard still exist somewhere out there in the multiverse!  We swear!’ This is all well and good, but,...

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SUPERNATURAL Season 11 Trailer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzPtF_K1ltI Why is Sam in Hell? Okay. Listen.  I’ve already talked about Season 10 of SUPERNATURAL. I don’t have enough angel juice to go through all of that all over again.  I love this show.  I’ve watched every season multiple times in multiple orders. I’ve tried to predict every upcoming season and I’m pretty much wrong every time.  I want so much and I’m usually very happy with what I get. My biggest gripe with this show… Every season, they seem to forget everything that happened more than 2 seasons earlier.  What do I want out of season 11...

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