Author: Mark Espinosa

THE FLASH Season 2 Review

Season 3 opens with Barry Allen waking up at his desk at CCPD with a splitting headache.  That’s weird.  Not what I was expecting for a season opener, but, alright. What the heck just happened? Joe isn’t at his desk.  Iris isn’t answering her calls. Cisco and Caitlin are no where to be found. There’s reports of a ‘Citizen Cold’ stopping a metahuman attack downtown. Who? What the hell is going on? What Earth is this? A second before he’s about to race off to STAR Labs, Barry is interrupted by his mother, Nora Allen.  She’s alive and she has cookies.  “Barry, did you forget that it’s...

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Our Top 10 Movies of 2015…Finally!

JASON FURIE Hot damn what a good year for movies! My inner nerd was hungry and holy cow did he ever get fed! I was almost 100% sure STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS would take my #1 spot but THE REVENANT had to poop on the parade and deliver one of the best films I’ve ever seen. It was a cinematic masterpiece displaying top notch cinematography and acting while also serving as one hell of an entertaining revenge flick. And to be honest, I’m a shameless STAR WARS fan (ALL of it!), and THE FORCE AWAKENS mainly got my #2...

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SUPERGIRL Season 2 will be on the CW! My Thoughts…

Ahhh, CW.  Forever picking up the comic book scraps from all the other networks. When it was first announced that season 1 of SUPERGIRL would be on CBS, I was skeptical. I couldn’t figure out why DC wanted to split up their properties across so many different networks?  GOTHAM was on Fox. ARROW and FLASH were on CW.  CONSTANTINE was on NBC (Who guest stars on ARROW now). After watching the season premiere of SUPERGIRL, I completely understood why. The tone of it was very different from what was happening on the CW. Being on a different network gave it room...

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JASON BOURNE Movie Trailer Review

This is part 5?  They are counting THE BOURNE LEGACY as part of this franchise?  The one with Hawkeye?  I mean, I suppose they would.  It took place in the same universe.  Kind of.  Eh. I love these movies. I could talk about them all night.  In fact, the first draft of this write up was me going on and on about how perfectly the first three BOURNE movies interweave with one another.  Part 1 takes place during Part 1.  But, Part 2 and 3 sort of take place at the same time.  Like in the FAST AND THE...

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AMC’s THE WALKING DEAD Season 6 Review

BEWARE: Some good old TV and Comic Book spoilers inside for the weary. Enter at own risk. Which season of THE WALKING DEAD is this again? 6?  That’s it?  Are you sure? Hersel’s farm was like, 30 years ago… The difficult part about reviewing any season of THE WALKING DEAD is that it feels like their damn seasons go on forever! The first episode of season 6 aired on October 11th, 2015 and its season finale aired on April 3rd, 2016. That’s 6 whole months! Wait, isn’t that the normal length of time for a sitcom season? The first episode of season...

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BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE (Anti) Movie Review

Warning: Major Spoilers Ahead! It is almost impossible to accurately review this movie. There is too much to talk about. There are way too many perspectives to consider. The conversation goes far beyond, simply, ‘is it good’ or ‘is it bad.’ What are the criteria for determining such a thing? What is the ideal by which this movie is being compared? Other comic book movies? Its source material? Cinema as a whole? Marvel? How does it measure up as a comic book adaptation? To the DC animated movies? How objective am I supposed to be? Am I just copping out with this...

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The Final CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR Trailer is Here and it’s Glorious!

I’m so happy. *falls to the ground* *tries not to cry* *cries me a river* *faints* It’s funny how Ross didn’t show any scenes from the INCREDIBLE HULK.  Especially the part where his failed attempt at duplicating the super solider serum ended up creating a giant monster that broke Harlem in half.  What a ninny. HOLY SMOKES! Why am I trying to write cohesive sentences when I can actually see bits of my melted brain floating in my Krusty O’s?  Initiate Operation ‘Lazy Recap.’ Will they mention Inhumans?!  I mean, Fox News is talking about them.  Don’t mess this up MCU....

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DEADPOOL Movie Review

Holy shit!  Was that a helicarrier?! Ever notice that ‘?!‘ makes a very specific sound in your head? What happened to Lisa after the end of WEIRD SCIENCE?  I know there was a television show, but, that doesn’t count. The original movie ends with the boys stealing those girls from that rando and young Tony Stark. I still have so many lingerie questions about that movie. Friendly reminder:  Lisa was only a day old. DAY OLD!  Dayyyyyyy Old. Have you seen DEADPOOL yet? I’ve seen it twice already.  Yes. This is a pissing contest.  Wouldn’t you need to use a bucket for that sort...

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LUCIFER Episode 1 & 2 TV Review

Oh. I get it.  It’s a ‘devil’s threesome.’  Clever. I’ve always found the complexity of ‘Lucifer’ to be one of the more fascinating throughout literature.  Lucifer is the ‘darkness’ to God’s eternal ‘light.’  God offers ‘eternal bliss’ while the Devil wants only to corrupt and spoil humanity. In 1667, John Milton posed the question of ‘what if Lucifer was actually the hero of the bible?’ This did not go over well.  Fire. Torches. Pitch forks. Milton suggested that when presented with the options of blind servitude or agonizing freedom, Lucifer chose to be free. Obviously. He was a Seraphim, from the highest choir of angels,...

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TMNT 2 Super Bowl Trailer Review!

What are the most important traits of the big budget sequel?  More characters!  Bigger explosions!  Lots of skin! Rollerblades! When I was a kid, there were a few toy sets that I desperately craved. From G.I. JOE, I was hungry for The Defiant. Of course, I had a rich friend who lived across the street who had it.  Shmuck.  The other one was the Technodrome from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  Also, I am unable to say ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ without singing it in tune to the ‘Turtle Power’ song from the original movie’s soundtrack.  Actually, listen to that song and then come back to...

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X-MEN: APOCALYPSE Super Bowl Trailer Review!

Is it just me or did Apocalypse look better? More evolved? How bout those mouth lines? Those sad little mutant frown lines. Definitely bluer, that’s for sure. Why is Apocalypse always so mad? This little X-MEN: APOCALYPSE trailer sure did pack a punch.  We finally got to see Psylocke’s psychic knife. We also got to see her for more than a second. I need to go back to the first trailer and see if they touched up Apocalypse’s face. Haters be hating. Why is Angel fighting Nightcrawler in some sort of cage match? Run, Quicksilver! Run! Now we know that Apocalypse is responsible for turning...

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CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR Super Bowl Trailer Review!

Am I alone or was that song a little annoying?  UNITED! We Stand! SOUTHWEST! We Fall! Meh. This trailer actually did a pretty good job of jumbling up the plot for me.  I thought I had a pretty good grasp on this movie’s plot after I saw the first trailer.  The Winter Soldier actually takes a shot at Tony and from Tony’s expression, he actually got pretty damn close.  This does a lot to really blur the ‘who’s side are you on’ question, for me.  After watching this, I really don’t know.  Rolex hand armor! Was Bucky being manipulated? Steve, you...

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JASON BOURNE Super Bowl Trailer Review!

Jason Bourne just wants to be left alone, you savages!  Or does he…? Winky face. After sitting the last movie out, Matt Damon has returned to the role of Jason Bourne.  Respect. This movie seems to be tackling the question of ‘what the hell does a super spy do once he’s defeated the bad guys and there are no more bad guys left between him and his freedom?’ Apparently, bare knuckle boxing.  After the third movie, (ULTIMATUM?  SUPREMACY? It was definitely a very intimidating word). Jason Bourne was able to walk away from the game with the piece of...

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DC’s SUICIDE SQUAD Movie Trailer Review

*Lips perched* *Quietly stroking beard*  Alright, DC… Alright. I am not one of those ‘Marvel vs DC’ hyper battle nerds. I tend to lean more towards Marvel, but, that doesn’t mean I won’t be wearing a diaper while standing in line for BATMAN V SUPERMAN. It’s a movie that pits Batman versus Superman and then Wonder Woman shows up and schools both of them.  If you cut me, do I not bleed?  I will say that I am not as knowledgeable when it comes to DC characters. Which didn’t really affect my pure glee while watching this first ‘official’...

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STAR WARS REBELS Season 2 Mid-Season Trailer is Stunning!

I feel like I owe a spoiler warning for this post because I know how people get with their STAR WARS…  I learned a lot of valuable lessons during the era of FORCE AWAKENS.  I ain’t taking no chances. For those of you watching STAR WARS REBELS, you already know how completely insane the show has gotten in the past season.  Without giving too much away, the show has started to catch up with the time leading up to STAR WARS:  A NEW HOPE.  Which would make sense because this show takes place some time after the events of REVENGE OF...

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J.J. Abrams’ 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE Trailer

Okay, lets all address the giant monster in the room… Is this a sequel to CLOVERFIELD? It’d be NERD suicide to stand on my little apple box and say otherwise.  I mean, CLOVERFIELD is in the name of the movie!  The tag line for the movie is ‘Monsters Come In Many Forms.’ This is clearly a sequel to the 2008 giant monster mash… But… is it? You can hardly consider 2008 a ‘dark age’ for the internet. I was no longer trolling for kisses in AOL chat rooms.  I was actually using the internet for important things like selling my...

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DEADPOOL Red Band Trailer #2 is Amazing!

Personally, I enjoy seeing a world where a cab driver has no problem picking up a funny-loving psychopath in a tight red suit full of knives, guns and so many friggin pouches! Doesn’t that just stink so much like the DEADPOOL we all know and love? How the hell did this movie get made?  Okay, we know how… someone COUGHtimmillerCOUGHHH leaked some DEADPOOL test footage a couple of years ago and it transmitted a persistent itch to the crotches of nerds everywhere.  That joke is extremely topical.  Wing. Bang. Boom.  Now we have a DEADPOOL movie that feels more true to...

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A&E’s DAMIEN Trailer Review!

It’s all for you, Damien! Damn, that movie creeped me out when I was younger. I was never really a fan of movies that involved the devil. EXORCIST.  ROSEMARY’S BABY. TRANSFORMERS. The idea that there actually could be a little red dude chilling down below trying to forever rotisserie my soul was a concept that my adolescent mind just couldn’t handle. What?  Lucifer?  That dude from Sunday school?  Nah.  While films like the EXORCIST were terrifying, what made films like THE OMEN so much more unnerving was the idea that the devil could actually unleash a homicidal offspring onto our unsuspecting modern...

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Netflix’s DAREDEVIL Season 2 Teaser!

DAREDEVIL 2:  Avocados at Law. Okay.  I know that this is technically a ‘teaser trailer.’  There’s no new footage or anything like that.  C’mon! Look at it, though!  This may be a teaser trailer, but it’s one of the best looking teaser trailers I have ever seen. On top of completely wrapping up season 1 in a pretty bad ass church mural ceiling thing (what are they called?) it also lays ground work for the impending madness that only the Punisher can bring. Oh boy! Oh boy! It’s still way too soon to properly speculate what season 2 of DAREDEVIL...

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IN THE HEART OF THE SEA Movie Review

When I was an English major in college (I sell dildos now for a living), I wrote my senior thesis on Nathaniel Hawthorne. Why am I bringing this up?  It’s because any intellectual analysis of Nathaniel Hawthorne sidesteps fluidly into a conversation about Herman Melville. So intertwined the two became for a brief moment of their lives. Also, it’s because I suddenly feel like I’m writing a college paper and I have to fill 9 pages.  How do I double space a WordPress document? Pilgrims! When I first read MOBY DICK, I was an obnoxious college kid from New Jersey...

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