Author: Mark Espinosa

The CW’s SUPERGIRL Season 2 Review

Art by Jean Chen I honestly can’t tell you what network SUPERGIRL was on before it came to the CW.  Was it CBS? I think it was CBS. Who’s idea was that?  Idiot. Welcome to the CW, SUPERGIRL.  I hope you survive the experience. Okay.  Season 2 was outstanding.  Of course it was. The folks in the Arrowverse know how to make quality comic television…on a budget. You know, I’ll tell you a little secret… I never finished season 1 of SUPERGIRL.  I know, for a fact, that there are episodes in there that I never saw.  I know...

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THE FLASH Season 3 Review

Art by Mike McG Heads up, there are some spoilers ahead! The Flash is dead, long live the Flash. I was expecting wayyy too much from Flashpoint. I can say that now.  My therapist would be so proud of me.  When season 2 of THE FLASH ended with Barry deciding to go back in time and save his mother from dying, most of us knew what was coming. Barry was about to jack up the timeline. Personally… I thought he was going to meld the Arrowverse with the Supergirlverse. I’m so happy that didn’t end up happening. Wow. Look...

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PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES Movie Review

Art by Max Harley Rogerson Spoiler: There will be no pirate puns in this review. Alright. I’m confused. Will Turner stabbed the heart of Davy Jones and became captain of the Flying Dutchman.  Easy.  This means that he is now responsible for ferrying the souls, of those who die at sea, to the afterlife.  Double easy. It’s not as swell as it sounds.  You see… You’re only allowed to go on dry land for 1 day, every 10 ten years.  This is a major kick to the anchors. Especially if your wife is Keira Knightley.  When Davy Jones had the...

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ALIEN: COVENANT Movie Review

Art by Adam Roth It’s been almost five years since PROMETHEUS premiered and people still love to shit talk it. (Guilty.) I think I was complaining about it four days ago at a bar: “A real scientist wouldn’t do that on an alien planet!” “Why is she running in a straight line!?” I think I was halfway through explaining how idiotic it was for Charlie to take off his air mask when I realized how much I hate the human beings in these movies. The corporations. We really are the worst. We send inexperienced people into dangerous situations based solely...

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LEGENDS OF TOMORROW Season 2 Review

Vandal Savage has been defeated. Thank God. I will start this off by saying that LEGENDS OF TOMORROW is the most ‘comic book’ show on television. Donald Duck the haters. Yes. It definitely stumbled in it’s freshman year. (Don’t get cocky, season 1 is a little rocky.) It was bogged down by its central premise of defeating Vandal Savage. I can’t believe how excited I was when it was announced that he was the villain and how annoyed I was with him by the season finale. The whole season stank of ‘suppressed awesomeness.’  It had all this potential that...

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RESIDENT EVIL: THE FINAL CHAPTER Movie Review

WARNING: Major spoilers within…but does that really matter? Can you believe it?  The final RESIDENT EVIL movie is upon us.  Did you honestly think you would live long enough to experience this moment? RESIDENT EVIL:  THE FINAL CHAPTER (Is this really the final chapter? Really?) starts off a short time after the events of the last movie. Did that sentence mean anything to you?  Let’s play a game… Can you remember what happened in the last movie? Can you remember anything that’s happened in any of the movies and what movie it happened in?  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not...

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SUPERNATURAL Season 12 Premiere Review

Saving people.  Hunting things. The family business… Same as it ever was. I can’t believe that this is the 12th season of SUPERNATURAL. What? Really? Yup. Really. The problem with any show that last longer than 7 seasons is finding new ways to keep the show fresh. Listen to me. I’m clearly an industry expert. Blargh. I mean, I feel like I’m preaching to the choir on this one. Obviously, that’s the trick for all shows laster longer than 2 seasons. Each season of SUPERNATURAL seemed to be all about hitting that new next level of madness. Hell. Purgatory. Existential...

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LEGENDS OF TOMORROW Season 2 Premiere Review

We’re the Justice Society of America and were here to kick your dicks off! I was expecting the season premiere of LEGENDS OF TOMORROW to be good and… hooboy… was it pretty damn good. When LEGENDS was first announced, I immediately fell in love with it. You have this pocket universe being formed on the CW with ARROW and FLASH. You got characters regularly crossing back and forth between shows. Everything matters. Everything has consequences. It’s the tits. Then, you bring along a team of super bad asses traveling through time trying to kill an immortal tyrant? Check, please! As dope as all that was… Season 1...

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THE FLASH Season 3 Premiere Review

What the shit, Barry? How can I both love and hate time travel at the same time. It’s quite the paradox.  Listen.  I’m not proud of that joke either.   When done right, a story about time travel can present a very fascinating look into the significance our ordinary decisions can have on the world. “Biff!  You’ll break his arm!” Time travel can also lead to lazy story telling.  When every horrible thing that happens can just be undone with one quick trip into the past, nothing matters. There has to be rules. There has to be something that keeps...

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Netflix’s STRANGER THINGS Season 1 Review!

STRANGER THINGS is a ‘critical hit!’ I wanted to make that joke at the end of this review, but I couldn’t wait. HONORABLE MENTION:  This show goes all the way up to Eleven. In the first episode of STRANGER THINGS, Will Byers wins an issue of Uncanny X-Men #134 off of Dustin in a bike race. What the hell happened in Uncanny X-men #134 and why does that even matter? Lets talk about it at excruciating detail! (Wait. Mark. Are you seriously telling me that a big chunk of this review is about a Google search you did in the first 5 minutes of the first episode? Yep. It sure is) In Uncanny X-men #134, the X-men were wrist deep into the Phoenix Saga. What’s the symbolism? Well… Jean Grey did have psychic powers very similar to Eleven’s… No, you fool. Lets go a bit deeper. We have to go deeper. The Phoenix Saga deals with Jean Grey struggling for control over an ancient power that had inhabited her body. Eleven seems bound to the “Demogorgon” in a similar way. Intertwined, they are. Where did the monster in the Upside Down come from? Is it also part of some ancient power that has existed for as long as time itself? Were they bound to each other because Eleven opened a crack in its universe? OR.  Listen to this shit. What if Eleven was responsible...

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SUICIDE SQUAD Movie Review! Was it Really THAT Bad?

How many people did Enchantress have to kiss in order to make that soggy army ? I really don’t know what to say about this movie. Everyone with an internet connection seems to have something to say about it. ‘The editing feels sloppy.’ ‘The music cues are jarring and clearly trying to ripoff GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY.’ ‘Rotten Tomatoes.’ ‘Box Office.’ ‘You’re all just hating on it cause it’s not Marvel’. ‘This movie is about Amanda Waller trying to create a team of meta humans to combat metahumans and the next metahuman attack ends up being the result of Amanda Waller making that...

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S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 3 Review!

In 2008, a ‘Phil Coulson’ would approach Pepper Potts and tell her that he represents an organization called the ‘Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.’  It’s a mouthful.  He knows. They are ‘working on it.’ No need, Phil. Your acronym game is strong. A couple months later, Tony Stark would walk into a bar and inform a very grumpy General Ross that ‘they were putting a team together.’ Who is? In 2011, a funny thing happened on the way to Thor’s hammer. Phil Coulson and his mysterious crew would show up again, this time in New Mexico, because...

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RESIDENT EVIL: THE FINAL CHAPTER Trailer!

Okay.  Help me out with this. Did Alice lose her super powers at the end of the last movie or the one before that? Did she ever get them back? I know that her army of clones were wiped out. Which, is a bummer. Where’s Michelle Rodriguez? Did she die in that huge underground city?  That was the last movie, right? I think a version of her lived? No. She died saving that kid. Who’s kid was that? I’ve seen all these movies so many times and now they are all splattered across my memory.  There was a boat that had...

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Netflix’s LUKE CAGE Trailer Review!

Sweet Christmas!  Now, that’s more like it! I was going to review that LUKE CAGE trailer that got released at SDCC, but, found myself having a hard time figuring out what to say about it.  Yeah, I was excited to see something… Anything… for LUKE CAGE. (How great was it to see him rampage down that hallway full of goons?) Still… I don’t know. It looks great and it looks like it’s being done properly. Still… There was something about that comic con trailer that didn’t sit right with me.  I felt like it lacked heart.  I’ve seen long fights take...

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SDCC 2016: The CW Fall Lineup Looks Amazing!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LGQRbPERaU FLASH (Tuesdays. Premieres on 10/4) Barry Allen. Why do you run fast and make bad decisions? I know you miss your mom.  It sucks that Zoom killed your dad. A hero deserves better. How could you possibly think that going back in time and saving your mother was a good idea? It’s not. No good. You are going to wake up in a reality that is very different from the one you left. #Flashpoint. Do you even have powers anymore?  Maybe. Well, of course you do. How else are going to fix all this nonsense? We’ve seen this story before....

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SUPERNATURAL Season 11 Review!

WARNING: You guessed it…spoilers abound! God dammit.  SUPERNATURAL went and did it.  They finally brought God into the mix. Amen. I’ve predicted that God would show up in my last four SUPERNATURAL season reviews. Wrong every time. Except for this time. Swish. In the beginning of every season of SUPERNATURAL, I whisper to myself… ‘God has to show up.’ There is no way he doesn’t. (She doesn’t?) The Archangels are trying to bring about the Apocalypse. Lucifer just escaped from the Cage. The Leviathan just got released from Purgatory. They are about to close the gates of Hell. The book of the Damned. Death is...

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GOTHAM Season 2 Review (Good Cop/Bad Cop)

BAD COP (Matt Delight) Alright. Alright. All of you who have witnessed all of GOTHAM Season 2, you can go. And all of you with Super-Hero fatigue. You are free as well. Don’t know why you were dragged in here in the first place. Go about your Uncanny Kimmy Schumers, and St. Grey’s Houses…or whatever the hell gets you through the day. In fact, anyone with problems concerning ‘Canon’…you are dismissed as well. You have your own problems. Your hard-cover Batman:Red Rain is next to Superman:Red Son. When it should be closer to The Dark Knight Returns, Gotham By Gaslight,...

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THE FLASH Season 2 Review

Season 3 opens with Barry Allen waking up at his desk at CCPD with a splitting headache.  That’s weird.  Not what I was expecting for a season opener, but, alright. What the heck just happened? Joe isn’t at his desk.  Iris isn’t answering her calls. Cisco and Caitlin are no where to be found. There’s reports of a ‘Citizen Cold’ stopping a metahuman attack downtown. Who? What the hell is going on? What Earth is this? A second before he’s about to race off to STAR Labs, Barry is interrupted by his mother, Nora Allen.  She’s alive and she has cookies.  “Barry, did you forget that it’s...

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Our Top 10 Movies of 2015…Finally!

JASON FURIE Hot damn what a good year for movies! My inner nerd was hungry and holy cow did he ever get fed! I was almost 100% sure STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS would take my #1 spot but THE REVENANT had to poop on the parade and deliver one of the best films I’ve ever seen. It was a cinematic masterpiece displaying top notch cinematography and acting while also serving as one hell of an entertaining revenge flick. And to be honest, I’m a shameless STAR WARS fan (ALL of it!), and THE FORCE AWAKENS mainly got my #2...

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SUPERGIRL Season 2 will be on the CW! My Thoughts…

Ahhh, CW.  Forever picking up the comic book scraps from all the other networks. When it was first announced that season 1 of SUPERGIRL would be on CBS, I was skeptical. I couldn’t figure out why DC wanted to split up their properties across so many different networks?  GOTHAM was on Fox. ARROW and FLASH were on CW.  CONSTANTINE was on NBC (Who guest stars on ARROW now). After watching the season premiere of SUPERGIRL, I completely understood why. The tone of it was very different from what was happening on the CW. Being on a different network gave it room...

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