STAR TREK: BEYOND Movie Trailer Review!

0
Posted December 17, 2015 by Mark Espinosa in Movies

Why wasn’t Idris Elba in this trailer?  Where the hell is Idris Elba?  … Wait… He not some weird looking alien, right?  TELL ME!

Damn, Justin Lin!  Did you just blow up the Enterprise?  (I guess that makes sense because I assume this is still NCC-1701? Picard was captain of the NCC-1701-D, so… we have a few letters we can throw away.)  When the FAST AND THE FURIOUS director signed up to direct this (3rd?) STAR TREK movie, we knew it was going to be off the chain.  This is straight up ‘space madness,’ Stimpy! I think it’s a bold decision to take the crew of the Enterprise (which is arguably a character in and off its self) and strand them on some alien planet. Karl Urban?  Why are you perfect all the time? I know you’re wondering, that bad ass white alien ninja is actually Sofia Boutella.  She was the assassin from KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE.  Who is also in talks to play ‘The Mummy’ in the new MUMMY reboot.  Do we know who these other aliens are?  Are they turning Starfleet members into slaves? I like that they finally found a legitimate reason why the captain of a space vessel would constantly be throwing himself into dangerous situations.  I still have so many questions about this movie and I’m excited to have them all answered!  I do know this… Transporting scares the shit out of me.  They die every time they are transported!

Do you think that the Beastie Boys are happy that ‘Sabotage’ is the only song from our lifetime that survives til the 22oo’s? What century is that?  The 25th or something?

STAR TREK:  BEYOND hits theaters on July 22nd, 2016


About the Author

Mark Espinosa

I spend way too much money on comic books. Ghostbusters is the perfect movie. I love quoting obscure, overlooked lines from obscure overlooked movies. I wish live action comic book movies could be as good as animated comic book movies. I think if a piece of entertainment can show you one new thing, express one new idea, then you have to appreciate it. In my spare time, I sell adult romance items for a very friendly type company.

0 Comments



Be the first to comment!


Leave a Response